For the last time, I’m not a homophobe!

Wow, my post, Scary Yaoi Fangirls, really brought some of them to my blog’s door (just read some of the comments under the post). Now that I have my brush with them, let me just say that I’m glad that I live half a world away from them.

Before I was a yaoi reader, one of the most irritating response I get when I say I don’t like the genre was the accusation that because I don’t like it, that means I’m a homophobe.

Excuse me, I get really irritated at that because a) you don’t know me b) I have gay and bisexual friends c) that’s a dumb way to defend the genre you love – by accusing those who could be won over to your side by saying that they’re a bigot of some kind. Way to go.

It’s a little bit interesting to note, that despite me reviewing Yaoi manga and writing actively about the issue and admitting that I’m a Yaoi lover that I still get accused of being a homophobe just because I happen to not like everything about the genre.
Also, if you have read the post, you’d realise that it’s a tongue-and-cheek kinda post about a phenomenon I am mystified by – how fans can take their love for yaoi so far that they take it personally if others don’t share their love.

To these people – please get a life.

Ok, I am testy today. The past few weeks have been tough on me (hence no posts!). Had to deal with wicked, manipulating [beeps] at the office, and the last thing I wanted to see was flames in my blog. But yeah, yeah, the blog is public so it’s free game and all that.

But, really, pleaaaaaaaaase read the post carefully, not just the first few lines, before you send over your flame. If you flame, at least flame with some logic.


I promise i’ll be less cranky tomorrow. (I just found out I have to work 8 days a row next week, so I’m a tad pissed. But I’ll get over it.)

18 Responses to For the last time, I’m not a homophobe!

  1. jpmeyer says:

    Actually, it’s probably not that yaoi fangirls are scary, but rather that teenagers are dumb. And don’t know that thy’re dumb.

  2. surrealistic says:

    I know the feeling…
    I’m a yaoi fan but it doesn;t mean I like ALL aspects of it…which there are some….>.>;; Its like liking anime…does it mean you have to embrace all of it including the hentai part? I don’t think so…

    fandom is a scary thing o_o;;

  3. Atazure says:

    Well, it’s pretty funny, after all, yaoi isn’t even real gay manga. I mean, it is, but the relationships portrayed in them have nothing to do with reality, so in fact, a yaoi fangirl might awake one day as a homophobe when she’ll get to see/understand what real gay relationships are like and what real homosexual people are like (in this case, males).

    Now those will be FUN times 🙂 Hang in there and don’t let the work eat you up!

  4. callie says:

    personally, i think the yaoi fangirls are more likely to be homophobic. as a previous commenter mentioned, do they even realize what REAL gay relationships are like? yaoi manga is romance written for girls– kind of like lesbian porn for guys, it’s pretty far away from reality! that’s why some of those comments on the “rbid yaoi fangirls” post made me laugh …

    anime fans on the internet are some of the most close-minded people i have ever encountered. they rarely realize that people who don’t share their interests (anime, yaoi, etc) aren’t worse people, they’re just different people. personally, i call that bigotry, and it’s why i generally dont discuss anime on the internet. the fans just exhaust me.

    i really liked your post about yaoi fans and i’m sorry (but unfortunately not surprised) you recieved flames in return. your blog is so rare in that you’re intelligent and open-minded, but you also clearly love shoujo and yaoi manga. i’m so glad your blog exists! thanks for publishing, and don’t let the flames get you down!

    • brainbunny says:

      hi please dont think this is a flame but i kinda of want to respond to what you said.

      “do they even realize what REAL gay relationships are like? yaoi manga is romance written for girls– kind of like lesbian porn for guys, it’s pretty far away from reality!”.

      I cant speak for every yaoi fangirl in the universe but I have discussed this before with a few of my friends who are YFG’s as well and we Know it is fantasy Often very dark and over dramatic.

      And Dont agree with alot of the trashy “non-con” (as it is dubiously titled) plots.

      But i think the same can be said for Heterosexual manga/hentai, it is extremely unrealistic. i can see by your post your’e intelligent and i dont mean to patronise you, but the common assumuption that yaoifangirls believe what theyre reading as a given, gets to me. thankyou 🙂

  5. […]  Hey, guys. You’re probably wondering what in the world happened to me! No, I didn’t stop blogging for a while because I was peeved off with the whole yaoi issue. (I had a very bad day, no, week, when I wrote that post.) It’s more like real life run me over and flattened me over for a while. Work, work, work, and more work … blah. But anyway, enough of me whinging about work – let’s talk about Ouran High School Host Club’s Tamaki Suoh, shall we? […]

  6. One of the most irritating response[s] I get when I say I don’t like the genre was the accusation that because I don’t like it, that means I’m a homophobe.

    I think you hit the nail right on the head. There is a complete logical fallacy in assuming that only homophobes could possibly air a strong dislike for yaoi, one that is like saying only Ku Klux Klan types dislike the films of Spike Lee.

  7. Lapin says:

    Ugh. Yaoi. And fangirls. I don’t like any type of hentai or most ecchi in general, so yaoi really gets to me. What most people don’t understand is that it doesn’t mean you dislike shounen-ai, but that you probably realize how absolutely disgustingly degrading yaoi can be. In my opinion, girls squeeing over two guys making out is just as bad as a homophobe.

    And why is it that most fangirls always forget the shoujo-ai?

  8. Kowa says:

    Yeah a lot of “Yaoi” fans are rather unintelligent. Also they like to claim a Boys Love as Yaoi, when Yaoi is just an acronym and is basically a manga with no plot or anything and just has pointless male sex. (e.g. I’ve heard many girls squeeling about how Gravitation is the ultimate Yaoi, and I correct them telling them its Boys Love and they throw a hissy fit and tell me I’m wrong -_-‘)
    Sure I love some guy on guy action, but I’m not gunna go bashing someones head in if they don’t agree with me. These fans are mostly immature brats who just need to grow up and realize theres more than one point of view in life but your own.
    Rabid fangirls are always a scarey force, no matter what fandom they are associated with.
    I’d love for them to see real interactions between homosexual men and see just how different they are from these flowery and beautiful depictions we get in manga/anime. Or even the completely angst ridden ones. Its far from reality, >_> But on a side note, its probably why I like it XD!
    But I’ve spent many a times with my gay friends and love the way they interact with each other as well, because its more real.

    But yes, its really sad that such people exist and I’m sorry they direct their attacks at you, but what else can be expected from them, ne?

  9. Panic Portal says:

    Panic Away

    This brought me back from the Brink!

  10. Panic Portal says:

    Panic Away Education

    This helped me out of those DARK PLACES.

  11. Panic Away Course

    This helped me out of those DARK PLACES.

  12. Zharlie says:

    “one of the most irritating response I get when I say I don’t like the genre was the accusation that because I don’t like it, that means I’m a homophobe.”

    I hear you. All because I don’t plan to vote for Obama (a black candidate for President) that means I’m a racist. It’s a knee jerk reaction for those who can’t debate and so resort to name calling and the likes.

    I came upon your site because I was looking for some manga review and since I’m not a yaio reader I needed some more objective reviewer before I inflict the book upon my friend even though he specifically asked for it for his birthday….. you know, to practice foreign language skill (roll eyes). I heard about the iffy non-con part of the series and I really object to that sort of…storytelling. From your review it doesn’t sound like the usual dreaded fall-in-love-with-the-rapist plotline so I guess it’s alright.

    P.S., going by some of the comments of regular yaio readers here, the homosexual relationships depicted in those comic books sounds nothing like how my gay friends describe their relationships to me (oh WHY do they talk to me!? I don’t even like it when my girlfriends give me too much details) and it sounds more like the barely-speaking physically violent aspects of those 2 sheep herders in Brokeback Mountrain. Now that I write this, it does sound like those characters in Tyrant Fall in Love.

  13. Crazyanimegyrl says:

    I read your Scary Yaoi Fangirls posts and I thought you hit the nail on the button. I myself have seen the craziness!

    Not in any way did I thought you portrayed as being a homophobe. It was a well written blog. Am I a Yaoi Fangirl? Yes I am — just not one of the crazy ones. There are some good Authors out there and I am a fan.

    Why would anyone pick up a book in the first place? To escape what they would deemed “their reality, and go to a far away place.” Yaoi is just another Genre… period. My sister reads romance such as Danielle Steele. I won’t read her stuff, nor will she read Yaoi.

    I don’t know… I find it funny that folks try so hard to be ‘political correct’ in such a correct, capitalized world.

    Eck! Go figure. :o)

  14. Crazyanimegyrl says:

    Ooops! Meant to say “corrupt, capitalized world.”

  15. vampirekitty says:

    One thing you have to learn about people and many, many fangirls in the world is that they do not like to read. They like to look at the pretty pictures. This goes especially for the yaoi fangirls that just want to see the hot man love. On top of that, most human beings see very base words. We like to think of ourselves as people who see the world in all colors, but when it comes to words, we usually see it in black and white. If the words “don’t like” are placed ANYWHERE in something that is written, no matter the context, people will see it as “don’t like.” There is no in-between. And it seems that human beings naturally love conflict, because they will latch onto the negative. Never mind if “like” is in there as well, if there is “don’t like” that’s what will be called upon.

    I recently had an experience with a writer that I gave comments to. I liked her story, quite a bit. I told her so; and with specific points that I really liked as well. But I made the mistake of giving one small opinion, that I tried to phrase as nicely as I possibly could. She took it far too personally and told me that if I didn’t like it then I didn’t have to read it.

    People don’t like to read. I’m not saying that this goes for ALL people. There is the potential for intelligence within the human race. But for the most part, this is how people are. I imagine you’ve already got all the opinions you need, since this was made September 2006. ^^; But everybody likes to put in their two cents. Sure makes me feel a little more special, lol.

    Have a nice day.

  16. Lara says:

    I just had to post of this when i read it.

    I have to say i haven’t ever seen that kind of scary Yaoi fangirls… But maybe i’m just in a wrong place.
    But it is very true that they shouldn’t call you homophobic, cause you don’t like yaoi (And by you i mean everyone.).
    But i have to say that when people know there is alot of homophobic people in the world, than i think it’s normal to be lil offensive when telling it, if someone starts to make fun of you, but only in the cases where people really make fun of you not cause you don’t read it.
    It’s normal for everyone to have their own likes and dislikes.
    I have to say i was gonna make example of Yuri, but i like it too, so i cannot make it example in my point of view. But has to say it’s some peoples nature to be narrow minded in stuff or they have been raised to that way, so i was always on my toes when i told my friends that i like Yaoi, cause it’s not like action, comedy or drama.

    But i have to say i didn’t like this part on your text:
    “The fangirls I’ve met in my country are rather … normal ones. Sure they love anime and stuff, but you wouldn’t guess it if they sat next to you. The ones I’ve met are succesful career women while some are quiet, studious students (in Malaysia, smart people are generally more popular in school, not “losers”).

    Or maybe us Asians are just generally more subdued. ;)”

    And you talked about American girls.

    Those things you said of countries and stuff, made me feel that you think that only in Asia has normal Yaoifans and not scary Yaoifangirls.
    I just wanted to say, in every country there is scary Yaoifangirl and in every country has normal Yaoifans.
    So i don’t like you categorising countries or areas, which has “normal” and “scary”.
    I know you wrote that “I’ve met”, but you really haven’t met every country’s all Yaoifans, so please don’t categories.
    And i want to clear one thing out, cause i’m sure someone might have thought i’m American, but i’m not and you can see it from my writing mistakes.
    I’m from Europe and i’m normal Yaoifangirl, who acts normally and lives her life and keeps Yaoi as her secret and doesn’t push Yaoi to others.
    And i don’t know how much cultural differences in Asian countries are between the countries.
    But in Europe neighbour countries can be like night and day.
    Example i live in country, where people are subdued, but i know that there is scary Yaoifangirls, and my neighbour country has not so subdued peoples.
    But of course there are different kind of people.

    I hope i didn’t offend you in anyway, it just makes me lil pissed off, when people categories whole areas example Europe for being same kind of people.

  17. freedom of speech says:

    awww thats so sad
    i totally feel for you
    just because someone likes something doesn’t give them the right to trash the people who dont!
    its nice that you like yaoi now but even if you didn’t that’s your personal opinion and no one has the right to criticize you
    and yea so you had every right to be pissed(especially that work thing)
    hope it worked out for(though this is like 4 or 5 years too late but still lol

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